Saturday, June 27, 2009

Chirping in the Closet & Worms in the Fridge

Andrew and I have been doing our best to exercise our muscles of frugality. I'll begin with the best example by publicly commending Andrew (along with his side kick, Eliza) on the success of our garden. These photos were taken a few weeks ago, but here you have a look at the first official "pick" of the season.

True, the casserole may slightly resemble something your cat coughed up. Regardless of it's appearance, it tasted awesome.

Other ways we've been saving include:

Replacing the purchase of a happy meal with happy hour at Sonic. Refreshing beverages and slushies are half the price during happy hour (2-4 p.m.), everyday.

Not wanting it to go to waste, Andrew gets to work on slurping up Eliza's spill.

My children and I are utilizing our library card regularly. We're faithful patrons to our library's story time hour and summer craft activities. Frequently, we check out books, DVD's and my personal favorite, books on CD. Cleaning is a completely different experience for me if I have a book on tape/cd playing while I do it. I encourage you to try it.

Up until this past week, my library record was flawless. This afternoon, I was chatting on the phone as I made my way to drop off an overdue 'Barney Valentine's Day speical' DVD. Distracted, I mistakenly returned my newly rented Red Box DVD. Twenty minutes later, I notice that the blasted Barney rental was still next to me, riding shotgun.

Confusion turned into the realization that I'm losing my mind as I made my way back to the library and confessed my idiocy to the librarian. Happily, she fetched my rental for me. Bottom line, the library is awesome if you're smart enough to understand and comply with its system. I'm working on it.

We've replaced our outings to Monkey Joes with homemade forts. My children laugh so hard when they're in the front room jumping on the cushions. Our swimming pool is free activity. Correction, our H.O.A.'s have been paid, so we can use our neighborhood pool as often as we'd like. We're there regularly. I'm to the point where I feel comfortable taking the kids on my own.
Date night includes skipping or shortening children's nap time in order to put the wee ones to bed early. Homemade popcorn, a red box rental and an absent baby sitter fee makes for a simple, yet effective, break with your best friend.

Garage sales: Henry's wardrobe has been suffering in a BIG way. This morning we scored on his behalf as we perused our neighbors tubs of boy clothing. Eliza was thrilled to death with her 'new to her' orange Thomas shirt. I ended up with four pairs of capris/pants from Banana Republic, $2.00 a piece.

Speaking of Eliza's Thomas the train t-shirt addiction, I have to mention an Elizaism. The moment we walk through the door, she insists on wearing one of her Thomas shirts. If we are to leave on an outing/errand and I want her dolled up in something cute, I have to promise her that when we come back home, she can wear her Thomas shirt again. She'll take her Thomas shirt off and then hide it from me to prevent it from mysteriously disappearing while we're gone. She now has three and practically lives in them.

After picking up Eliza a butterfly net from the Dollar store today, Andrew took her to a nearby park to catch tadpoles.

"Look Ali!" he says with excitement. "They're sprouting legs!!"

They were successful. The 'cookie jar' featured above has never contained cookies. It's a shame, really. Rather, it's played host to Andrew's nightly batch of fire flies and now, tadpoles. Despite both of our efforts in pinching our pennies, there are still those small purchases that will never seem justifiable. Let's just say that my days of paying someone to wax my eyebrows are over.

As for my dear spouse, last night he took Eliza on an evening errand. After tucking her in for the night, I lazily fell to the couch. That's when I noticed the chirping. It was coming from a grocery bag on the island. Inside of the bag I discovered a batch of live crickets he'd purchased to use as fishing bait.

Encouraged by my disdain of having live critters in my home, he transferred them into a plastic bottle and placed them next to my face after I fell asleep last night. For the sake of maintaining my image (lol) I hereby invoke my right to leave out my reaction to said prank. After his fishing trip this morning, I was less than pleased when he returned home with them.

"I'll take care of them." He promised. A few hours later, I went to tidy the front closet. I'm greeted, once again, by chirping.You'd think that I'd officially be "broken in" as a fisherman's wife after five years of marriage. I remember in the first year of our marriage coming across a Styrofoam blue tub in the fridge.

"Oh." I thought to myself. "Grandma must have brought down some coleslaw for us." To my horror, I discovered a batch of live worms left over from a fishing outing. Gross. Regardless of our differences, Andrew's ability to find joy in the simple things of life has brought great joy to my kids and is keeping us all entertained (whether or not we're horrified or delighted) at a lower rate. Moments ago, I shared with Andrew my intended title for today's entry. His reply,

"Oh you can do better than that. I have half a pint of chicken livers in the freezer." He wasn't kidding.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Validating My "Long-Winded" Claim Once Again

... and the Flegal children all lived 'Happily Ever After' following their return to the land of their forefathers. Replacing the 1900 mile gap with an easy five minute walk, they blissfully dwelt in the midst of their Nana, Pop-pop, cousins, Aunts, Uncles & friends....

The End.

Alright, okay. We're not quite to that chapter of our story yet. But someday, we will be.

My parents returned home yesterday.

Let's just say that I wasn't the only one unhappy about it.

Thankfully, Eliza was asleep when we arrived at the airport. My parents cautiously slipped out of the vehicle, careful not to wake her. After hugging them tightly and whispering, "Only eight more weeks," I returned to my seat. From my rear view mirror, I saw that they waited on the curb to watch us drive away. With all the discipline I could muster, I was able to trap my emotion at the bottom of my throat (you know the place I'm talking about) for the majority of the drive back home. And then, my daughter woke up.

"Hey!" Noticing their absence for the first time she asked with her eyes full of crocodile sized tears, "Where are Nana and Pop Pop?" The barrier was broken. I couldn't help myself. I began to cry too. I tenderly gave her the answer she already suspected. My heart fell as I watched her face crumple.

"I need them now!" She said through her heaving sobs. And that my friends, is one of the most difficult parts of Motherhood. Not being able to explain what it means to live so far away. Or wishing you could explain why she can't go back with Nana to her house. It's a big piece of awful. All I could to was apologize for her sadness. As I drove, she asked if she could sit in my lap (her request was put on hold until we arrived home). In fact, she asked to be cuddled all afternoon.

Still, the price of enduring another ache-infused, "farewell" was completely worth it after reflecting on the special week we shared. The recap of that week begins now.

Hold on tight...
... because it's going to be a long one.

According to my Dad, Eliza's greeting was one of the highlights of the trip for my Mom. They arrived at a smaller airport that allows non-ticketed passengers to wander further than you'd generally expect. With that being said, I think it's fair to say that my parents were surprised to see an elated Eliza as soon as they did. She rushed into my Mom's arms. The moment was the exact opposite of the feelings I previously mentioned.

Assuming, falsely, that Andrew would have asked for a ride home after his mutual activity, we made our way home. I was looking forward to introducing my Dad to our home. The dark house indicated that Andrew wasn't there, so we reversed our way out of the drive way and headed down the road toward the Church. Lo and behold, there was my husband, walking in the dark, with a handful of wildflowers that he'd collected while on his solitary journey.

The following morning we loaded ourselves into the Flegal-mobile and geared up for a road trip to the LOVELY Charleston.
After checking into our hotel, we made our way into the heart of downtown. The ladies checked out the "open market" while the men folk found a parking spot. The sun was hot and an exhausted Eliza was threatening to fall apart. Playing the odds, we opted for an informative, yet entertaining, carriage ride through the city. It was splendid. Eliza and her incredibly sweaty head fell asleep on my lap.I don't know if I was more interested in seeing the home where George Washington once stayed or the mansion where they filmed scenes from my favorite movie, "The Notebook." The tour guide did a great job.

After a scenic dinner at California Dreaming, we returned to the hotel to call it a night.

Following breakfast the next morning, we boarded a boat for a tour of the harbor. Our destination was Fort Sumter... the starting point of the Civil War. The area in which Andrew and I live is filled with history from both the Revolutionary and Civil wars. You can't help but gain a deeper sense of patriotism after experiencing and enhancing your understanding of what occurred at these places.

After the tour, we returned to the boat.
Next, my Mom and I enjoyed 'Round 2' of the Open Market. We left the men in charge of finding lunch with the kids. They had more of an adventure then we'd all anticipated. Trying to locate a bathroom for Eliza in a city where it's impossible to find a parking place, a missing order of chicken nuggets, distraught children who were in need of a nap, etc made the simple request we'd originally made a little more complex.

It was clear that we ought to schedule in "nap-time" after they came and fetched us. Next up... the beach. Wow. The beach. The water was like bath water. It was the warmest ocean experience I've ever had. HEAVEN. It was slightly overcast which helped combat the heat. My greatest pleasure was watching my Mom and Henry play in the waves. My Mom let loose in a way I've never seen as she waded deeper and deeper into the water. Henry just laughed his head off as the waves broke around him and his Daddy. Eliza's favorite place to be was the sand, but she did make her way out farther than I'd expected with my help.

The next morning, we made our way to Angels Oak. It is the oldest tree on this side of the Mississippi. I'm telling you now, pictures can not do the majesty of this tree justice. It's unreal.Take note of the tiny people at the base of the tree.
That afternoon we made our way home. Sunday we celebrated our Daddy's with a special breakfast, gifts, cards, etc. My parents were able to attend our Ward too. That evening we went to a nearby park. The weather was favorable.

Monday morning Andrew returned to work. Without his company, we went into Greenville to visit Falls Park.
Our stroll was followed by lunch and then... yup. You guessed it. Home again for nap time. That evening, Eliza, my Mom and I drove an hour and a half to see "Thomas LIVE on Stage!" The boys hiked an area where the battle of Cowpens took place. This battle was a turning point for our struggling country during the revolutionary war. If you've seen the movie, "The Patriot" (I haven't)... the major battle depicted in that film, occurred here.
As predicated, the Thomas show was magic for Eliza. She was mesmerized. I'm happy that my Mom was able to see that type of wonder on Eliza's face. During our long drive home, my Mom and I received word from my sister that the Governor of my state was missing. I am embarrassed to admit that I had to ask my sister to tell me his name. He'd been missing for four days. He'd missed Father's day, his wife was unaware of his whereabouts, something about taking time off to hike the Appalachian trail... 'this behavior is somewhat typical' - they said.

Turns out, he was having an affair. That's why his wife didn't know where he was. That was an awkward press conference if I do say so myself. Tuesday, my Mom and I laid out at the pool as the children slept. That evening my Dad and Andrew went hiking. Their little excursion was the "icing on the cake" for my Dad. As for me, I had a good cry as I watched Marley & Me with my Mom that night.

I'm grateful for the time we had with my parents. My Dad gave me the pep-talk I needed as we made our way to the airport. Andrew and I are truly blessed. We have a great life here. The void for family is still there, but we're doing well and live in a great area with great people.

In fact, to distract Eliza and I from our tears, I phoned my friend Michelle on our way home.

"Hi..." I said. Trying to hold it together.

"Oh Hi." Seriously, it feels like it's been months since we've been able to hang out. Bad timing is the story of our life lately.

"Did you drop your parents off today?" She asked. I start crying.

"Yes. I'm like... sobbing in my car right now."

"Ya." She says simply. "I can tell." Michelle, who is incredibly put together emotionally, probably finds my hysterics amusing. Still, she obliged with my request and brought over her boys. It was good to have them over again. We're fast approaching our "year" anniversary since the move down South. I can hardly believe it.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Yesterday was Father's Day

... and I was lucky enough to spend the day with mine!

As for my kids,They have the best Daddy on the planet.

With my parents in tow, we spent the weekend in the charming and historic city of Charleston. Next up, my Mom and I will be delighting the socks off of Eliza as we take her to a Thomas the Train LIVE on stage show tonight. I predict it being the happiest hour and a half of my child's life. I can't wait. More to come on the awesomeness that is my life when my parents are in town. I love, love, love having them here.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I agree with you. I ought to be medicated.

I am incredibly pleased to report that my Mom and Dad will be sleeping under my roof tomorrow night!! It will be my Father's maiden voyage to the Flegal nest and considering I'm always craving the company of my Mother, I'd say that I'm rather *ahem* stoked!

(The jury's still out on whether or not I'm the type of girl that can pull off using that word in a sentence. There's a strong possibility that I am simply not cool enough.)

Looking back at this past year, I've been highly fortunate to have seen my Mother 3 times already. The longing I feel to be near her on a regular basis has not subsided, but I think it's important to acknowledge my gratitude. For the three of you that still miss our family, please note that we'll be in Salt Lake at the end of August through the first week of September! Party at YOUR house :)

Time is curious, isn't it? It seems like it was just yesterday that I was in Utah attending the blissful nuptials of my dear friend. In contrast, the time that proceeds the highly anticipated arrival of a loved one slows down - molasses style - only to speed up again once they're here. Before you can say flibberty-jibbet, Eliza will be in the back seat of the van, sobbing hysterically, as she watches her Grandparents make their way into the airport to catch their plane home. It's somewhat heart wrenching.

Why did we do this to ourselves again?!

In other totally lame news, our laptop cord is under the weather and the prognosis is grim. Therefore, the remaining option for internet use is spending time on the dinosaur of a computer that lives in our spare bedroom upstairs. I declare that it has the slowest internet connection known to man. Loading pictures or video is a laughable idea; which is sad news for you, dear reader, considering I don't have anything to help offset the incessant ramblings of a woman who is procrastinating.

That's right. I'm totally avoiding the mountain of clean laundry that I can hear taunting me from my bedroom. How fun is putting laundry away when you know that you're going to be short about 10 hangers? Not very. In an effort to prolong my time in this comfortable chair a few moments longer, can I just say how much your comments have meant to me?

Seriously, I appreciate them all. I haven't been the greatest participant on Team "I Leave Comments" due to the fact that Google reader appears to be inoperative on the Dinosaur computer. Making the rounds to blog surf is slower without it's assistance. So, until our replacement cord arrives, that excuse will hold. I love blogging. I love that it connects me with friends and family; both old and new. Cheers to you all.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Entirely For Me

As a parent, you fall in love with your children's mannerisms. Time continues to pass, your children age, and they quietly grow out of certain quirks. I mourn these losses. It's the little phrases that suddenly disappear or evolve into something mature. Before she could properly speak, she identified her comfort items as her "burrrrr." In the sweetest of tones, she'd repeat the phrase over and over, hoping that I'd retrieve them for her.

When Henry was born, Eliza struggled with her new brother's name. For a while, she called him, "Harn." More recently, I discovered that she no longer asks for, "Ice SCRAHM" when requesting her favorite treat. With these examples in mind, this post is shamelessly dedicated to the little Eliza & Henry"isms" that make me smile regularly. Welcome to the mushy love fest. Consider yourself warned.

Eliza is kind to include her brother when playing with her dress-ups Her favorite is bestowing the princess crowns on his head. Most days, he'll keep it on for a long period of time or request that she readjust it for him when needed.

As seen in the video, she enjoys being in charge. They spend time playing in Eliza's, Thomas the train tent, hiding under blankets and simultaneously cuddling in my lap. Whenever Eliza receives a popsicle, she invites Henry over to share it with her. Or, when she's eating at the table, he'll crawl up to her chair and she'll feed him under the table, as if he were her puppy.

It isn't always sunshine and roses between the two of them. He finds great pleasure in changing the channels when she's watching a show. It drives her nuts. Eliza is over protective of her art supplies and is put off in a major way when he interferes. Eliza's child size table has a hole in its center where an umbrella can be inserted. Henry delights in shoving anything through it, including pieces of her play dough, crayons and/or markers.

Henry is starting to see the benefits of walking; still he has trouble standing up without the assistance of a person or piece of furniture. That does not deter him from climbing. He's fearless that way. Eliza wasn't much of a climber. Whether it's a chair, the couch, the kid table or a container full of blocks, he'll make his way up top and will contently sit until I rush over to pull him off.

Despite his charming babble, the child is shy. At story time, he'll stay glued to my lap as he observes the children singing and dancing. The librarian will attempt to make him smile as she sets a puppet on his lap. He remains straight faced and stoic. His eyes, however, grow wide with wonder. Once he returns to his comfort zone, he talks profusely in his own nonsensical way. I love it.

Eliza on the other hand is incredibly gregarious. Any child, whether at the park or a play-date, instantly earns the title of "My best friend!!" While out with her Dad the other day, some neighbors passed by our home.

"Hi!" she yelled to them.

"My name is Eliza."

"I have a Thomas shirt!"

"It's blue!"

I mentioned a while ago that she's adopted the following phrase from Cinderella. When beckoning the family cat for breakfast, Cinderella whispers in frustration,

"Lucifer! Come here." Mimicking her to perfection, Eliza frequently quotes her favorite Disney princess. Most recently, it happened during Sacrament meeting. Informing Andrew that she has to go potty, Andrew escorted her outside of the chapel during the middle of the Sacrament ordinance. Upon their return, Andrew thought it best to wait in the hall until it was over. Eliza, on the other hand, immediately returned to our bench. Confused as to why her Father didn't follow her, she spotted him through the doorway. He was still standing in the hall. *Que the Cinderella quote:

"LUCIFER!" she said (keep in mind, it's dead quiet in the chapel) "COME HERE!" - she repeated her order three times before I was able to distract her from her Father. It was hilarious.

Last night we went to the park. As Eliza pushed Henry in the swing, she noticed Andrew, sitting on the ground, tossing the mulch with a stick. He must have been looking pensive. Eliza walked over to him, crouched down so they were eye level and tenderly laid her hand upon his arm.

"Daddy?' she asked sweetly "What are you thinking about?" Over come with his daughter's honest concern, Andrew started laughing. She's sensitive and believe it or not, a peacemaker. She's totally a three year old, capable of the most diva-centric tantrums, but underneath her three year old hormones, she has a compassionate heart.

We read to her and it isn't long until she incorporates the reading content into her daily interactions. This morning, she came into my room and said,

"Mommy! I have a nervous tummy. I think I need breakfast." The phrase "nervous tummy" is from a recent library book. She's integrating words like, "Absolutely" "Wonderful" "Beautiful" and "Celebration" into her vocabulary. .

"Oh, Eliza. I love you so much." I'll tell her.

"You're so welcome, Mom!" Having the two of them to compare, it's easier to identify personality traits. They're so different which has helped them to mesh. I know they'll fight and argue as they get older, but for now, I'm relishing in their friendship. I say it all the time, but I love being their Mom.

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Fanta-'STICK' Prank

Sunday morning, I received curious news. As I greeted my husband who had awoken earlier, I was quickly informed that a surprise was waiting for me in our front yard. Judging by the tone in his voice, I concluded that he was surprised himself. Whatever was waiting for me, wasn't caused or given (for lack of a better word) by him.

As I peered out the window, I was struck with a mixture of amazement, confusion and disbelief.

Oh, yes they did. I don't know if you can truly appreciate their work entirely without blowing up one of the pictures. Double click on the following photo if needed:The C.I.C. (*criminal in charge) said that they used a total of 525 sticks.

The 'who dunnit' portion of the mystery was never in question. I knew exactly 'who' the young culprits were. However, my assumption of which adult(s) was responsible for providing the dreaded popsicle sticks and transportation was incorrect.

"It was totally Jimmy." I said to Andrew as we instantly began plotting our revenge scheme. "Whatever we do, let's try to leave Michelle out of it." I was wrong.

Michelle... I know better now! Who would suspect the super cute Mom of three young boys? Wouldn't she be too tired to haul a van load of adolescents out for a night out of popsicle stick- sticking? After all, her sweet month old baby was being blessed in Church the following morning, she is currently playing host to a load of family members; not to mention...I LET HER BORROW MY SWEATER FOR CHURCH a few hours earlier! I could go on and on.

Alas, It would seem that her desire to provide her nieces, nephews, and **ahem** her sister in law with a night of adrenaline-filled vandal prevailed over my past deeds of kindness.

If you know me well, then you understand the cleverness of their decision to use popsicle sticks over the traditional toilet paper roll.

I made the mistake of divulging my incredible distaste for manhandling exceedingly dry objects which include: popsicle sticks, cardboard toilet paper rolls, the disgusting brown paper found in public restrooms for the drying of hands, etc. A week ago, while sitting around a fire pit with our dear friends, I confided my insane insecurities.

"Remember how I place a wrapper between my fingers and popsicle stick today when I took over Eliza's popsicle?" Nodding in understanding, she replied,

"Oh ya...I did notice you doing that."

It bothers me to no end when Andrew chews on a popsicle stick or a sucker stick. CALL ME CRAZY. It won't do any good. I'm already aware. I'm slightly O.C.D. I need to have lotion after I get my hands wet. SO... being the hilarious fiends that they are, they thought they'd help me confront my irrational behavior HEAD ON. Another justification came in the form of this realization,

"We practically aerated your lawn for you. We've considered sending you a bill in the mail." Andrew replied,

"Yes please do. Just make sure you include a return address! (Dun, DUn, DUN!)" The embarrassing portion of the tale comes in the form of our neighbors. I wonder what they thought as they passed by our home Sunday. Perhaps it's good that I'll never know what they thought as they approached our colorful lawn. We waited until night fall before we began plucking them from the ground. It was less humiliating to do it in the dark. The only problem was, we missed a lot of them.

Well heck. I learned my lesson. Next time we're sitting around their camp fire, I'll be sure to tell them how much I 'despise' snicker bars... and maybe NEXT time, I'll find my lawn covered in those! :)

We had a great laugh. And... we'll have an even better laugh when we return the favor!
These photos were taken at Talon's swimming party. It was here that I was introduced me to Michelle and Jimmy's loving family. As Andrew sat with the adults he overheard one of them ask,

"Hey... is that the one who hates popsicle sticks?" Andrew laughed to himself as he watched her point at me. Noticing Andrew paying attention, Jimmy smiled back as he replied,

"Yup. That's her. And that... " Jimmy paused as he acknowledged Andrew " her husband."

Friday, June 5, 2009

Lightning Hazard

Not everyone is complaining about the dreary weather.

Proving that happiness can be derived from the simplest of things, Andrew hauled the children outside shortly after arriving home from work to play in the rain. The temperature was approximately 75 degrees (if not warmer).As I greeted Eliza with her pink towel, I realized that this was the second time this week that Andrew had returned Eliza to me sopping wet. Earlier this week, I took a break from vacuuming an upstair's bedroom to peer out of a window. Andrew had been running the sprinkler. And there, in all her glory, stood an elated Eliza; soaking wet in nothing but her under-roos!

After drying off, we went down to the Henderson home for dinner. I was somewhat embarrassed to be re-introduced to their friends. The first time we met, it was Halloween... and Andrew and I were dressed like, 'Adam & Eve,' ugh. Instant regret. Oh man. Talk about wanting a re-do on a first impression. Regardless of that memory, we had delightful visit/dinner.

Before retiring to our home for the night, we popped on over to our new neighbor's house to introduce our family. Eliza wasted no time in taking off her shoes and inviting herself in. At least she was giving them an honest first impression. Our neighbors arrived here from Nevada two days ago. We feel lucky to have them next door; especially since it means a new play-mate for Eliza.

We delayed bedtime. With our full attention on our children, Andrew and I found ourselves sprawled out on the floor. Eliza had an awesome time putting Andrew and me to bed with the help of the couch cushions and blankets. She mimcked our regular night time routine and DELIGHTED in being the one in charge.Our weekend has started off on the right foot. Thank you Mother Nature for providing my family with a free-of-charge activity this evening, for sending your lightning rods elsewhere and for making our yard super green.

Happy Friday

...from our house, to yours!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Little Decorator

*Pssst: the title does not refer to either Eliza or Henry.

Nap time came to an abrupt halt Saturday afternoon. The pounding beneath my floor stirred up something more than curiosity. Trying to squash the irritation I felt from waking up prematurely, I made my way downstairs and headed toward the garage to investigate.

My dear husband had been 'organizing.' That was the term he offered.

I glanced up and found the source behind his hammering.

"Nice Andrew." I called to him as I head back inside. "I feel like I'm walking into R.E.I." Feeling picked on, he yelled back defensively,

"Hey! The garage is not yours to decorate!!"

Consider me informed, honey! That space officially belongs to you. :) To his credit, he did a fine job of marking the entry with his outdoorsy style. I'm pleased to see that his fishing poles received a place of honor. I confess that I'm slightly surprised that he didn't ask to hang them above the fire place. Seriously though, his hard work paid off. There were improvements made to the chaos that is our garage; and for that I am grateful.

Later on in the day, we walked three minutes to our community pool. Please come visit us and together, we can walk three minutes to the pool. It was delightful. The layout is ideal for our family. The sloped entrance helps ease the nerves of an unsure child. Eliza was free to dictate the pace of getting wet. Forming friendships with our neighbors and their children is an added bonus to spending time at the pool. Andrew had a noteworthy encounter with a young boy on our first outing. Plopping himself next to Andrew, our young friend starts swirling his feet in the water. After stealing a few glances up at Andrew, he bluntly asks,

"Why are you wearing your glasses in the pool?" Andrew, trying his best to be polite, quickly explains that he has poor vision and that the glasses help him to see. The kid accepts his obvious explanation. A moment passes before he peers up at him once again to ask,

"Why do you have so much hair on your legs?" Because we descend from apes. My wife claims that I'm the missing link - or - I have an Uncle. His name is Sasquatch. Any of those answers would have sufficed.