Monday, October 19, 2009

Proven to be a Flegal

Sunday morning, I found myself staring at the clock as I tried to calculate the wait; my stomach was twisting in pain.

Oh yes, I'm going there.

The sudden intensity of my menstrual cramps caught me off guard. Never in my life had they forced me off my feet. When they hit, I'd been in the middle of my Sunday morning routine and to my satisfaction, we were ahead of schedule. The kids had been fed, were dressed in their Sunday best and the diaper bag was packed.

My make-up less face filled with tears as I lay in the one position that brought a sense of relief. I was impatient as waited for the Ibuprofen to kick in. I felt frustrated that I'd have to miss Church for a lame-sauce reason like this. The excuse was something a girl would use in high school in an attempt to avoid a biology test. Just then, Andrew walked in. He was more confused than sympathetic as he asked,

"What's the matter?"

"My uterine lining is shedding. It hurts. So Much." I moaned. Judging by the expression on his face, that may have been the most unattractive thing to have ever come out of my mouth. Eliza trotted in behind him. Seeing my distress upset her instantly.

"Mommy, I will sing you a song." She announced as she climbed into bed with me. I painted a happy expression on my face as she began the serenade. It wouldn't be long until the meds kicked in. And if they didn't? I wondered.

"Eliza, will you say a prayer for Mommy?" I asked.

She agreed. It was the first time that she insisted on saying it by herself. Andrew and I sat in awe as we listened to her deliver her first prayer. And for the most part, it made sense. She expressed her love for Jesus, blessed the food that wasn't there and also asked for me to feel better. I was touched. Whether it was her faith, the drugs, or a combination of both I was soon back on my feet; the discomfort a distant memory.

Since then, Eliza has continued to volunteer her pleas for divine help on behalf of our family. Our sweet daughter, whom resembles me in so many ways (my flare for drama, ability to attract teasers, hyper sensitive, etc) said this:

"Dear Heavenly Father,
Please get me back to Lake Powell..."

And with that, we found another piece of Flegal in that dear child of ours.

*** I just read this entry aloud to Andrew. He is encouraging me to remove both the "m word" and the "u word" from the text. Based on his suggestion, we both are left to wonder: How many fellas frequent this blog?


Alan said...

To answer your possibly-rhetorical wondering, I am a fella, and I frequent your blog (or rather, it is delivered to my google reader with a couple-hour delay).

But I'm sorry, Andrew, I don't balk at m- and u-words (actually, I'm glad the for the reminder that sometimes women I see absent from church or work might be absent for these reasons).

I hope Eliza makes it back to Lake Powell :)

*Jess* said...

I'm sorry you weren't feeling well :( If it helps, Eliza's "blessing of the food that wasn't there" made me double up in laughter!

B-dizzle said...

Brent reads it, but you better believe he is comfortable with those words. I am on my period for the second time this month :). I'm sure Andrew uses the words testicles and penis all the time. Why are those words okay and uterus and placenta and menstruation (I could go on) are not?

B-dizzle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ali said...

I'm crying. These are officially the funniest comments I've EVER received. Katie. You are my hero.

Alan, your comment was refreshing.

Jess, I'm glad you got a laugh. That's what I aim for when my period becomes the subject matter.

Davis Family said...

Oh. My. Gosh. So funny. I mean, not your pain but the "my uterine lining is shedding" part. I will never again refer to it simply as "I'm on my period"...that is if you don't mind me stealing that from you. :)

Oh, and isn't it so cute when kids start doing their prayers all on their own? Brielle prays for some very interesting things!

Keli Day said...

Ali! Your blog is by far my favorite! I always feel like I just got done reading a funny story. Thank you for always providing me with solid entertainment at work. Makes my day go by so much faster. Your family seems to be the most perfect family in any and every way. I love it! :)

Audra said...

I only have one thing to say, "It's about bloody time!" Oh the words that come out of Ali's mouth! Eliza is the cutest thing ever!

Michelle said...

Ali you know you can get rid of those cramps by getting pregnant. Look at me, I haven't had a shedding in years!

Michelle said...

I am with Andrew. Jimmy

Allison and Josh said...

haha! Oh Ali, I love your honesty in your blogs! You should be a professional blogger! :) And don't worry, I have had to miss church a few times due to the m word! Not fun!