An alternative would be to start a new blog altogether but the idea of having our history cut-off troubles me. I was tempted to graffiti the page with advertisements as a way to earn back the monthly payment, but again, felt a high level of hesitancy. I can't clearly articulate why I feel this way. Let's just say that if I were to ever monetize a blog, it would be something entirely separate from my family (read: a coupon, fitness, cooking, advice giving, entertainment writing - type of blog).
Perhaps, I could write an at home organization blog. The problem with that is I am only a semi-organized person. A more realistic option would be to write commentary on the television that rules my life (Welcome back GLEE PROJECT!! This spin-off from Glee, in my opinion, is loads better than the actual show itself.), but the shame of it all would be to heavy to bear (wink). The list of possibilities is small and the problem of only being semi-committed or simply 'kind of good' at something (example: coupons) is a common problem.Until that day, when I wake up the incredibly fit, am deemed a brilliant cook, feel creative and crafty to the core and believe myself to be full of wisdom... my blog will remain centered on my life as a wife and Mother, void of ads.
My feelings for blogging continually fluctuate.
The love I feel for blogging was initially born from the interaction and support I had from readers. Everyone loves a comment and I was happy to leave them as well. I have made "friends" via the blog which should be weird, but isn't. Over time, this aspect of blogging diminished. I had to learn to move past the feelings of disappointment that my blog's cool factor had dwindled. Moving back from Germany will do that to any blog. ;) More than that, however, is the paranoia that I sometimes feel that I might offend someone. Insecure as I am, I don't want critics visiting the blog.
The urgency to blog has waned a great deal since moving back to Utah. The family members who I felt needed to be kept up to date are now regularly seen. The people we moved away from, that we are still in touch with, don't seem to rely on the blog a great deal to keep up on our happenings (hello, facebook). Jessie, you are the huge exception to this! There are other members of our family whom are out of state that stay in touch with us through the blog; which also keeps me motivated.
However, it's the appreciation I have for blogging that keeps me writing on a (semi) regular basis. The details that seem so mundane quickly become precious memories. When I look back at what I've written these past five years, I want to give my younger self a hug.
I also carry a hope that my kids will enjoy seeing their childhood through their Mother's eyes when they are older. But you never know. They might end up resenting me horribly for sharing so much of their life in such a public way. Let's keep our fingers crossed!
I love writing. Perhaps if I sewed or could draw a straight line, I would spend less of my free time doing this. But for now, this is my hobby. It includes preserving memories of my kids so the guilt factor is low. At some point, a sudden desire for privacy might trump all the perceived benefits and things will change. Until then, we will continue to pay our new monthly fee with grace (ha ha ha), unless someone has a solution that I have overlooked. For those who have stuck around for each measly little word, I say thank you for your friendship.