Announcing Another Baby

We told our kids at the beginning of August that we were having another baby. The announcement came sooner than I had originally planned because I have a big mouth. During youth conference, while bearing my testimony, I let it slip (alright, alright. It was an intentional share) that we were expecting again. Coming home, I felt like I better tell my children before they heard it from someone else. 

Without rehashing the obvious difficulties of the first trimester; there are a few moments/milestones that an expectant Mother can look forward to: a positive pregnancy test (or in some cases 17+ positive pregnancy tests), the first ultrasound confirming all is well and then sharing the happy news; whether that comes in a slow trickle or a sudden flood (raising my hand).

I had several ideas floating around my brain as to how I wanted this moment with our kids to go. However, I am here to say that pregnancy fatigue can do a lot to deflate a spectacular plan. Also, I did feel limited knowing I was under a time restraint. So, with that being said, I found the "Big Brother" shirt I gave Henry when we told him that Lottie was on the way. You can see that announcement here (Blogging for the win!). I went to my storage room, found a gift bag and filler and then told the kids we had brought back a a present for them from our trip. Forrest opened up the gift, the older kids read what the shirt said. Hilarity and a lot of emotion ensued. 

I captured it on video.

The photos, I feel like, turned out equally awesome. 

Before anything happened at all, 

Eliza, who CLEARLY knew already, was struggling to maintain composure.

She would be a terrible poker player. 

I can say that because I am wired the exact same way.

I can't keep a straight face.

If I am trying to play a joke on someone, I say the words,

"Just Kidding" before they have a chance to get upset, worried, scared, etc.

Eliza discovered the positive digital pregnancy test the same day I took it.

She was getting ready to take a shower when she spotted it on my bathroom counter.

Rather than confront us immediately; she told me that she decided

to shower first and try to digest the news on her own.

In the upstair hallway, following her shower, we crossed paths.

Dressed, but with her hair wrapped in a towel still, she pointedly asks,

"Are you pregnant?" I froze.

Instead of giving her a direct answer; 

I shuttled her into her Dad's office

 so we could at least share in this moment of being busted together.

"Is Mom pregnant?" 

I can't remember how he confirmed the news; 

but what I do remember is that her was one of JOY! 

My heart has been filled with concern about how a new sibling would impact her.

She is starting junior high next September; 

is rapidly approaching her teenage years

 and continues to change and grow before my eyes.

It's the little reminders that hit the hardest.

As an example, standing behind her to braid her hair...

"You are too tall now on this stool; would you mind moving to that chair?"

As I grow this new sister; I physically feel growing pains.

As her older siblings grow up; I emotionally feel growing pains. 

DEEP ONES!

How did this happen so fast?

Somebody hold me.

Seriously though, 

I want to be there for her for each milestone;

so how, I have wondered, will a baby impact all of this? 

Time will tell. 

Returning to that moment,

Eliza was jumping  up and down. 

Happy tears were in her eyes as she hugged me.

"Really?!" she asked.

Her excitement was the antidote to my anxiety

and it has continued to help propel me through the hardest moments of my pregnancy.

I had originally hoped that she would find out at the same time as the other kids;

but am grateful she didn't.

 It was special, in my opinion, that she got to share this secret with Andrew and me for awhile.

So yes, Eliza already knew.

And then we told the other kids.

Henry's reaction surprised me most.

He didn't downplay his feelings at all. 

It was clear that he was floored by the news.

"I was not expecting another sibling!" He cried.

Having thought about Henry, 

I think that his reaction was unique for a few reasons. 

Aside from Andrew and me, Henry has been

a great nurturer and caretaker to Forrest. 

And I think that for him, he was concerned,

only slightly...I hope,

that he was going to be given even more responsibility

with a new sibling. 

Henry has gone above and beyond

to love and care for Forrest.

He was often there for the sweetest and sourest toddler moments.

It was a big investment that has paid off in a big way because 

my two boys are incredibly close. 

And Forrest often rewards him

more than any other sibling with affection and love.

So I feel like this time around,

I need to be sensitive to not overwhelm Henry

with requests for help; even if he is naturally inclined to say yes.

Instead, I will delegate all of the baby favors to Lottie. 

Ha ha, I am joking.

Hopefully they will all want to help. 

But man, was this cutie pie excited. 

As for Forrest,

This sweet boy wins the award for having the most "long term" enthusiasm

in the sense that he talks about her all the time.

He spends the most time hugging and kissing my belly.

If we forget to pray for our sister, he scolds us.

He was excited when we told him, 

but it took time for it to really register.

Now that it has, he has been incredibly cute and excited.

I think it was over Labor Day weekend that our family took another trip to the cabin.

I was living in a haze of constant nausea.

To be honest, I was not very supportive of traveling. 

I laid in bed a lot;

tried to be cheerful.

But probably failed most of the time.

One of those "milestones" that I looked forward to that weekend

was snapping some pictures to announce to everyone else

(via social media)

that we were expecting one more.

I went all out by making my kids match. 

Moms like matching kids. 

I don't know why I don't do this more.

Oh wait. Yes I do.  

(Eliza).

Just kidding; kind of.

We were going for a boys vs. girls vibe.

The girls and their "game face"

BRING IT BROTHERS!

Back to School 2017 Style

It's been a different experience blogging fro a distance. This is definitely the most "behind" I have been in journaling for our family. As I review these "first day of school" pictures, I still feel an ache but today's is a different pang from the one I was feeling back in August. In addition to that feeling, I also feel gratitude for the school year my kids are enjoying.

It is always hard for me to say farewell to summer and send my babes back to school. What helped this year is that I was such zombie Mom, thank you first trimester, when the kids returned. Our adventures had slowed down and I was happy for the kids to be busy again with school. 

Eliza began sixth grade and is already half way through her year (at the time of posting this entry). She was chosen to be a peer leader by her teachers and has had a great opportunities from this service. Eliza has also been cast in two big roles for the sixth grade drama productions. One performance has been completed and she is beginning rehearsals on the next. In December she also came in first place at the school science fair. Socially, she has had a great year. Fifth grade was rocky as certain friendships changed (it broke my heart to see her so sad). I am so grateful for the friends she has been spending time with this year. Academically, she is on fire. This past Friday all three kids came home with perfect report cards. 

Henry is in fourth grade and is likewise having a good year. He has spent a few recesses alone on the playground but again, has worked through that and found a more solid group of friends. His teachers love him and recognize his kind heart. He has been caught being good many times and earned "Uintah Pride" tickets as a result. Violin continues to be a big part of his life and I am proud of his level of commitment. 

Lottie LOVES school. I have not had to worry about her socially. In the back of my mind, I know that she will have her ups and downs in the years ahead; but so far, growing friendships is a strength of hers. She loves to dance, is fierce on the soccer field and very brave when it comes to trying new things; monkey bars, ice skating, etc. She has an adventurous, competitive, loving spirit. 

It still hurts my heart watching Forrest exit my car for preschool. I don't know why I have been so slow to adjust to him going to school for a few days a week. He likes being there and is learning a lot. Even though another Fleglet is on her way, he has been my baby for years and holds such a special spot in my heart. I want to bottle him up and keep him to myself. 

Tomorrow, ironically enough, I will meet Eliza at the junior high for an orientation. This is an entirely new ball game that I am super unprepared for. Eliza likewise is a mix of excitement and nerves. 2018 is going to be such a big year for our little family. I hope I can embrace these changes with faith and optimism. I hope. I hope. I hope.

Back to school 2017

August Rush

I find it strange that when reviewing this batch of photos, the memory of pregnancy related nausea quickly resurfaces! August was the beginning of several long and intense weeks of morning all-day sickness. People were kind to ask how I was feeling. My reply usually went something like this.

"I don't know if its because I am older, if it's because this is baby number five or if I really just forgot how difficult this is; but this is the sickest I've been." I also liked to say, "I am no longer a spring chicken; having babies in my twenties isn't the same as having one in my thirties." It's been a challenge, physically and emotionally. As I type this post, I am 26 weeks pregnant and doing better in many ways; so let's celebrate that. Or at least I will. :)

(From July - a faint, but positive, pregnancy test

to August - my first ultrasound)

It was difficult to find motivation to do much as the sickness arrived. We did hit Lagoon a few times. It was especially great when we could go with friends like the Leff and Loomis families.

With school right around the corner, I did my best to maintain our "back to school" traditions; namely, going shopping with the kids for new clothes, supplies and shoes and our back to school dinner feast.

I took the boys on a different weekend; but am having a hard time locating that photo. I remember feeling very accomplished after these shopping trips were completed. Usually, it's a totally fun and selfish thing for me to enjoy as a Mom; but this year it was a test of endurance. 

I sound dramatic; I apologize. But I am not kidding about that nausea. It was rough.

For our back to school theme this year, I chose the following quote.

I don't know if it's social media or what, but I feel like I am privy 

to extraordinary stories and people regularly. 

Whether they are extraordinary humanitarians, talented artists, 

women who are running successful business while simultaneously raising beautiful families, etc...

I see them featured all over the place;

the most common practice, in my opinion, is that the

extraordinary like to highlight other extraordinary people;

which isn't a bad thing. 

It's often a very smart business maneuver for those promoting themselves, etc.

Here's the thing.

I struggle to relate to extraordinary; which is why I like this quote so much. 

I do relate to ordinary. And most of the time,

I am very thankful to be ordinary. 

The promise here is so comforting. 

If I am diligent, faithful and consistent in my effort to raise my family 

in a manner that is pleasing unto God;

we can hope for extraordinary results. 

Applying this to a new school year,

I want my kids to know if they diligently study,

obey their teachers instruction and are consistent in being kind

and loyal friends; they will have an extraordinary year. 

Photos from our feast:

August honorable mentions:

Bring your own slurpee container day...

And the solar eclipse.

Three cheers for Andrew who set this viewing spot up for us

and to Eliza for the popcorn.

The craziest part from the Eclipse, for me, was when the crickets started to chirp!

Youth Conference on the Snake river

At the beginning of August, Andrew and I had the opportunity to attend youth conference. We had quite an adventure as the activity this year was rafting down the Snake river! Having attended a safety type activity a few weeks prior, I had determined in my mind that I would not be rafting the river. I was terrified. We rented professional gear, but were not going with a professional guide. Some of the leaders and youth had experience on the river, but that did little to ease my concerns. Also, I knew I was pregnant and didn't know if that would mean there were automatic restrictions, etc.

I felt like I was contributing by bringing along Andrew. He would prove to be a great asset to youth conference; both off and on the river. The first day on the river, I kissed him goodbye and begged him to be safe as he prepared to launch his raft. 

I proved useful as I was the driver who helped shuttle the other drivers from the exit point back up to the parked cars. Also, I positioned myself on an overlook that viewed the most intense rapids so I could take pictures. It was while I was here watching raft after raft successfully handle these rapids that I felt like I would be safe if I went down the following day. 

We had a few minor and one major mishap during our trip. On the first day, the first raft missed the exit point. I had been waiting there for a long time; anticipating their return. Little did I know, they had stopped to cliff jump. The time I had expected them to arrive, came and went. They would end up spending an additional hour cliff jumping. Not knowing when our rafts would arrive and trusting in those who had experience with the river, I left my post to go and find a restroom. As I hiked back up to where I might find one, I saw our first raft float right past the exit point. I tried to holler at them, but they didn't hear me and off they went. I was frantic because I didn't know what type of rapids where awaiting them. I was relieved when someone consoled me by saying they would be rafting on a lazy and long stretch of river until the next exit point. The group of rafters, upon realizing their error, pulled their raft to the side and ended up hiking up the mountain to reach the highway. We were eventually reunited. Their raft, we suspect, was damaged in the process of being hauled up the mountain. This would lead to the big scare we experienced the following day.

The next day, I committed to rafting the river. I had called my OB's office and their advice was simple. "You can go; just don't fall out of the raft." Well, okay then! We had a great first run. It was exciting to experience it with Andrew. I bonded with our crew immediately; so many great laughs. After lunch, we went out one last time. It was on this last trip that one of our young women leaders and her daughter fell out of the raft at the scariest point on the river. They were able to retrieve the young woman, but we were unable to rescue our leader. It was so scary knowing she was moments away from enduring the scariest of rapids out of her raft. 

She would later share with us the details of that experience; along with her testimony. I believe whole heartedly that the Holy Ghost guided her and told her what to do to keep herself from swallowing too much water. Our testimony meeting was very special. I loved all of the analogies that were shared having to do with water.  For Andrew and me, it wasn't the type of "trip without kids" that you would imagine for a couple with four kids, but looking back on 2017, it was one of the absolute best weekends we had. I am grateful I was able to share the experience with Andrew.