It began with my dramatic three year old. After curling herself into a ball, Eliza begins issuing a pitiful moan."My tummy. It hurts!" She whines as she clutches at her side. Where did this come from? Despite the random nature of her complaint, it's impossible not to take her seriously when there are tears forming in her eyes. Suddenly, I feel alarmed.
"Does the skin hurt or the inside?
"Both"
"What does the pain feel like?" I ask as I gently press in the side that appears to be the source of her grief.
"DON'T TOUCH IT MOM!" Now she's really crying. Again I ask her to describe her discomfort.
"It feels like terrible, Mom!" I need time to calm down so I can properly access her condition. Food would hopefully serve as an adequate distraction. The idea of popcorn soon (pun intended) popped into my brain. I like to think of popcorn as being a lazy mom's snack; plus, she loves it.
After turning on Dora, I encourage her to relax and snack on some popcorn. Hopefully (fingers crossed), she'll forget about the mystery pain. Rather, the pain escalates. Movement seems to increase its intensity. She soon gives up on the popcorn (*ENTER HENRY*) as she settles herself onto the floor. With her bum in the air, she does her best to lay still... all the while she's muttering, "Owie, Owie..."
I call the doctor's office. Awesome. Their lunch break has begun. I have an hour to wait. Do I take her to insta-care? Is this an emergency? I call my friend, Michelle. She offers to watch Henry for me. I call Andrew. He tells me it's not an emergency... that we should wait it out. His lack of concern (aka his LEVEL HEADEDNESS) frustrates me. She needs IMMEDIATE medical attention, I inform him. Just as I begin pleading my case, I turn to see Henry stuffing a second popcorn kernel up his nostril."HENRY!! DON'T DO IT!!" True to form, Henry turns to offer me a WIDE smile. Luckily, I fish one out. He beats me to the punch on the second. His small finger launches upward, pushing the kernel up and out of my reach.
A mixture of dread, disbelief and annoyance wash over me. Oh no he didn't. Meanwhile, Eliza informs me that she feels GREAT - 100%. That's the good news. I call Michelle back.
"Eliza's fine. Henry now needs the doctor." She offers to take Eliza for me (huge thank you) and Henry and I head to the Doctor's office without making an appointment as they are still O.T.L.
(O.T.L. - you know, that's receptionist talk for 'out to lunch' - that's right, I'm educated.)
Anyway, we apologize for the lack of appointment but ask to be seen anyway. Nap time is SCREAMING Henry's name as we approach the waiting room. I can tell that he is incredibly annoyed by the kernel. Rather than fighting it, he just melts into his Mama as we wait.
If I look kind of trashy like and tired, it's because I was (and still am, for that matter!). It's a rite of passage, this doctor's visit. Whether it had been play-doh, a tic tac, a pea or a popcorn kernel, this is a joy EVERY parent should not miss out on.After Nurse Kathy warmly greets us, we learn that Henry has gained two pounds (23lbs). And with that, the "questioning" begins. I sure felt like a bad parent for having allowed my child access to a bowl of popcorn. SHAME ON ME! I couldn't help but shiver when I looked over and saw this:
Upon arrival, Dr. Martial Arts/Pediatrician/Lawyer informs Nurse Kathy that none of the instruments are acceptable. He asks where his Alligator jaws (or something like that) are"In the autoclave" - I have no clue what that means. Suddenly a flash of batman and his cave cross my mind. I'm going crazy.
"Why hasn't our staff ordered more?" He demands! "These," pointing to the tools, "will all traumatize the child!" He says. Between her quiet apologies, I realize that my hands are cupping Henry's ears in a pointless attempt to spare him the drama of the conversation. Nurse Kathy encourages him to try the small, white tool (used to scoop out earwax). And you know what?
It worked! Well done, Nurse Kathy. Henry wasn't happy during the procedure (understandably so). However, as we prepared to leave the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice the look of relief on his sweet face.
It's your turn now. What have you had lodged in your own nose or ears? Or your child's, siblings, etc? Henry and I are officially part of the club.
16 comments:
Oh man, you always have the fun adventures! i have to admit that I am apart of that club, with a sweettart..the big ones. Luckily it just melted away. Hopefully no more things get stuck up the!!
age: 13 years, 11 months
location: my kitchen with all my friends
reason: my going away party before i moved to idaho
what: green m&m
why: because it was funny, right? a booger-type funny.
where: at the base of my nose
what happened next: i thought my nose was going to run and so i instinctly inhaled in, hard
uh oh: yep, the m&m went up and lodged
ending: i plugged the other nostril and blew as hard as i could, repeatedly while visions of the ER rushed through mind. minutes (i'm sure really just seconds) later, it flew across my kitchen floor.
there you go, my little secret :)
Anna put a ball of some sort up her nose when she was little and I totally freaked out. Luckily she was old enough that I pluged one side of her nose and "blew" the object out. I'm glad that your little guy was ok.
Kids just don't allow us to let our guard down EVER huh? I was eating a tic-tac when I was younger (probably like 5 or 6) and for some odd reason decided to stick it up my nose. Nasty thing is when I blew it out I was tempted to continue eating it until my parent's stopped me....at least Henry didn't ask if he could eat the kernel when it came out right?
I love the confessions! That's the second tic-tac story I've heard today, Camille! Maybe I should take a poll to see what object gets stuffed up the most.
I think it's funny that Rachel was 13, almost 14, when she had her incident.
I can't help but smile :). I had a friend who got a green crayon stuck up her nose in Elementary school. :)
-Betty
I'm glad it came out and he's ok!
FYI: autoclave is the sterilizer. :)
Me in the living room with a button. My mom freaked out and took me to our neighbors house where he was able to extract said button.
We've not been there yet. I'm sure Marian will join the club at some point. She's already had her stomach x-rayed because we suspected she swallowed screws.
Glad everyone's ok! Only moments before sitting down at the computer to read your blog I pulled a tic tac out of Sophie's nose! How ironic. I think we are living the same life... :)
As of right now, no stories... we shall see what the future brings. Glad you got the kernal out of Henry's nose. Sorry it was all so crazy, but is sure makes for a great story. :)
Tanner (3 year old Tanner) lodged a white jelly belly up his nose in CostCo's parking lot this summer....while nathan's recently-returned-from the-mission was with us. After MUCh weeping and wailing and knashing of teeth, Nathan extracted it from his nose. It was now slightly pink/red, and as a joke, Nathan held his hand out (with the jellybean) out to Tanner? What did the child do?
He ate it.
If Nathan's brother never wants to have children, I will not wonder why. However, Nathan and his brother about wet their pants from laughing so hard. How boring my life before I became the mother of boys.
I take offense to popcorn being a lazy moms snack. I love it. Alright, maybe I am a little lazy. I'm still waiting for my foriegn objects in body parts.
haha too funny. i am looking forward to the day...
I love the picture of Henry at the bottom. SO CUTE. And it looks like Eddie Bauer took it because his signature is in the top right!:) haha
HEY!!! How are you? I am glad I found you! Your kids are so cute! Henry looks just like Andrew! Where are you guys...?
Ok, I'm catching up on your blog - I have a good one. My uncle when he was younger (I think upper elementary age)stuck a lima bean in his ear. No one knew about it and he couldn't get it out. I think a week or two passed by and all the sudden his mom (my grandma) noticed a sprout coming out of his ear! HAHA...so I think he confessed and took him to the doc and finally got it out. Only boys could grow lima beans in their dirty ears! I also remember in 1st grade sitting on a rug for story time. We had just come in from recess and I was wearing jelly shoes. I found a small piece of gravel stuck in them - they always got stuck in jelly shoes! - anyway, for some dumb reason I thought. "this is the perfect size for my nose!" I stuck it up one nostril, instantly realized it was stuck, asked Katie Smith who was my bud and agreed to me trying this stunt what I should do. BLOW! So I tried and luckily it flew out.
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